Blog or Bust

In my efforts to reform my bad habits, I'm going to try to post every day this week. Even if it's something short and sweet, I've got to get back into the practice of putting words to paper - or to screen, so to speak.

I thought I might take time to write about the reunion today, but that topic really needs more time (and just the right frame of mind). Maybe I'll tell you about a dream I had last night instead.

There's a woman at my church who is very respected and very wise. We've known each other for years as her kids are just a bit younger than I am. I respect her faith and her leadership. She was the first woman I ever heard speak from the pulpit of my church. We've worked together now for a couple of years on the women's Bible study team and earlier this year we all took a "strengths finder" test. We were amazed to see that we shared 3 of the 5 strengths. We're a lot alike in many ways.

And yet, this year, for some reason, we seemed to bang heads in discussions during our leadership training. Mind you, not knock down, drag-out things but conversations where I questioned some of her positions in light of the changing hearts and needs of women who are walking into our studies. I think we really agree on the core issues but some of the others, we seem to land at different conclusions.

Last night I dreamed we were at a retreat together. I was in our room listening to a secular CD and she stood outside the door and wouldn't come in until I turned off the music. She then began to lecture me about having too many secular influences in my life.

I won't bore you with our argument but let's just say I woke up with my heart racing and my mind whirling. At one point when I had stated my position in my dream she sighed heavily and said, "Well OK. I guess we'll let you help out at Vacation Bible School this summer." I wanted to scream at her - "I NEVER SAID I WANTED TO HELP OUT AT VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL THIS SUMMER! I SAID I WANTED TO WRITE STORIES THAT APPEAL TO ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE AND POINT THEM TO GOD!" Do you think maybe I have some frustration with her not "hearing" me this year?

Dreams are such funny things. I haven't seen this woman for a few weeks and yet, it's obvious that this issue is still in my heart and my head somewhere and will need to be dealt with. I wonder, is she just the representation of the fear I have that my "Christian" friends won't understand that perhaps the things I want to write won't be found in a Christian bookstore?

Add it to the list . . . the things that seem to stall me out.

And to top off the morning and my new commitment to post every day this week, here's a quote I "creatively borrowed" from someone else's blog awhile ago and sits on my desk for inspiration.

"I want to assure you with all earnestness, that no writing is a waste of time, no creative work where the feelings, the imagination, the intelligence must work. With every sentence you write, you have learned something. It has done you good. It has stretched your understanding. I know that. Even if I knew for certain that I would never have anything published again, and woudl never make another cent from it, I would still keep on writing. Brenda Ueland, "If You Want to Write"