Under Construction

Well, I got all ambitious and decided to play around with my template and now it's all tweaked and I can't figure out how to fix it. Since I can't do anything that brings stress (because I'm on vacation dontcha know?) I'm going to just walk away for a few hours.

So if you happen to stumble by and wonder, "What the heck . . ." I'll be back to clean up my mess later. But if any of you have any suggestions or ideas for how do it . . . leave me your contact info in comments and I'll be sending strawberry shortcake to your doorstep if you can help me!

Thanks!

Done and empty . . .

Well - here we are. The first day of "vacation". I turned in my last big project yesterday and I must admit, I slept good last night. However, today feels weird. Unsettled. I read for a bit, walked the dog, gave the dog a bath, cleaned the kitchen, mopped and did laundry. Yesterday, I snuck away for a 20 minute coffee break and wrote in my journal about how all my writing during the next week will be for fun only. No work.

I'm intending to use this time off to renew my spirit but I just feel so unsettled. Like an addict going through withdrawals. Isn't there a project I need to work on? An email I need to answer? If I was in therapy I'm sure there would be some sort of discussion about how I've been using work to avoid other things in my life. I need to get "clean".

So what to do? I'm at a bit of a loss. Relaxing doesn't come easy and there are still the voices of, "You really should be doing _________ ." (Fill in the blank with any number of mundane, non-vacation like activities.)

So I'm asking for prayers and advice. How do you refresh and renew your spirit?

Tuesday Tag

Here's a tag from Roadchick.

1. Go to Wikipedia and type in your birthday, month and day only.

2. List 3 events that occurred on that day.

3. List 2 important birthdays.

4. List 1 death.

5. List a holiday or observance. (if any)

6. Tag 5 other bloggers.

Birthday: July 30

Events:
1932 - Walt Disney's Flowers and Trees, the first Academy Award winning cartoon and the first cartoon short to use Technicolor, premiers. (Were there action figures for this one?)

1954 - Elvis Presley makes his debut as a public performer. (Thank ya, thank ya very much)

1956 - A joint resolution of the U.S. Congress is signed by Dwight D. Eisenhower authorizing "In God We Trust" as the US national motto. (We're trying Ike, we're trying . . .)

Birthdays:
1818 - Emily Bronte - English novelist (can't figure out how to accent the "e" but I'm sure she'd forgive me)

1863 - Henry Ford, American Industrialist (wish he was here to tell me what the clunking noise is in my Windstar . . .)

Other notable birthdays: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kate Bush, Laurence Fishburne, Lisa Kudrow, Hilary Swank & Jamie Pressly

Death:
1985 - Julia Hall Bowman Robinson, American Mathematician (b. 1919)
She was the first woman president of the American Mathematical Society and was best known for her work on Diophantine equations and something called "game theory" where she proved that the fictitious play dynamics converges to the mixed strategy Nash equilibrium in two player zero sum games. (Uhhh . . . . what?)

Holidays/Observances
Vanuatu Independence Day (Do you think they offer free lodging for those of us born on Independence Day?)

I tag:
Cheryl
Jennifer
Jenny R.
Michelle
Amber
& anyone else who wants to play!

Happy dance, anyone?

Today was a great day! Here's why I'm doing a happy dance today . . .

1. Sent my BIG project to the printer last night. HOORAY! Thanks for all of your encouragement during the process. I love that feeling of being done and putting a big fat check mark next to an item that's DONE! One more big work project that should be finished next week and then it's VACATION! (I'm taking 11 days off work) I'm trying to get used to not being on the computer 9 hours a day - I actually swept my floors and enjoyed it tonight!

2. We got our new lens for the camera we ordered last week. I'm hoping to get out on Friday to play with it and take some pictures of the beautiful spring blooms in the neighborhood. The weather looks like it just might cooperate!

3. My son's teacher is just awesome. He told her that listening to music helps him focus on his work and she's investigating how she can get music in the classroom to help him keep on track during work-time, especially writing. She's a remarkable woman who truly appreciates my kid's creative bent and wants to nurture it instead of squash it. Love, love, love teachers like that!

4. I have the best bloggin' tribe ever! Thanks for all of your encouraging comments from my last post. Please know that your encouragement means so much and I'm only where I am now in considering putting writing out there in the big world because of your support. I was so encouraged to read of Michelle at Full Soul Ahead and the release of an anthology by parents of children with autism. Michele has a piece in the book and she's been one of my biggest cheerleaders in my writing.

5. My bloggin buddy, Darlene, has a great report on her blog about her son Mark. The guy is a walking miracle and I started my day off by reading her incredible blog entry about his progress.

6. My darling husband brought me home the lovely tulips you see pictured. Could a day be more perfect? JT made the birdhouse at the father/son retreat this past weekend. He did such a great job!

Life is good. Happy dance, anyone?

Sunday Scribbling - Dream land . . .

Saturday I attended a Christian Writer's conference. I walked into the event early in the morning already exhausted from a series of late nights working on my current project, questioning if I really could make it as a serious writer while still working, being a mom and keeping up with the demands of life. The job was pretty much finished by the publishing folks that were there painting a rather bleak picture of the Christian Publishing industry. There wasn't any real talk about writing in the breakout sessions I attended - it was all about building platforms, positioning yourself in markets, all the non-writing stuff that you need to do to get published. (To be fair, it might have just been the tracks I chose and others might have been more focused on the craft.) By the end of the day, I felt as if all the shiny bubbles of my dreams of being a published author some day, had been burst (in Christian love, of course - grrr).

Sunday morning, I had a good cry in the shower. I'm not really proud of this, but the release of all the frustration was a relief. I stood there realizing that if I was practical, I might just have to put the dream of being published on hold or even release it in order to be able to write what I was supposed to write. I came out of the shower feeling almost relieved of a burden. Carrying around the expectation on myself that I would publish a book or have no worth as a writer, was a heavy load. I decided to try to wrap my mind around the concept that God might have a different purpose for my writing. One that doesn't include publishing.

Sunday, my daughter asked me if I'd take her to see Dreamgirls. We went for a girls afternoon out even though I had tons of work to do on my project. We had some good conversations on the drive to the theater (it was playing about 25 minutes from our house) and it was awesome just to be with her doing something we both enjoyed. Well for those of you who have seen the movie you can just imagine how it spoke to my heart. I was crying five minutes into the movie! Effie's story was exactly the story I needed to see. A talented woman who didn't take the expected path to reaching her dreams. By the end of the movie I had such a headache from trying not to cry, but I was so encouraged and motivated by the story of this great movie. Sometimes our dreams take us down the less traveled path and they're not bad, just different.

The land of my dreams - I think it has a freeway, it would get me where I want to go with speed and efficiency, but it's difficult to take a break and rest. The off-ramps would be few and far between. The scenery speeds by and quick glimpses are all I might get. I think my dreams also have winding country roads, filled with potholes, gravel stretches, downed trees and other obstacles. But there are lovely sights to see, people to meet and experiences to have along the road and it would just be a shame not to stop and explore. I think that's the road I'm on. I'm not sure I'll reach the destination before I die, but I know the journey will be interesting.

Maybe it IS true . . .

I always feel weird when people say I'm a writer. It feels like I'm a little girl playing dress up in clothes that are obviously too big and not my style. Like being caught with someone else's I.D. My friend Jenny Rough has me on her blog-roll in alphabetical order right before James Frey. We both have the word "writer" in our title. That always makes me shake my head a bit.

Last night I went to be exhausted. I wore heels for 5 hours while snapping pictures at a church event yesterday and then came home to work on my writing project until my eyes were crossing. With this big, hairy, breathing, drooling deadline for my current project fast approaching, I buried myself under the covers and sought the refuge of dreamland.

At 2:09 am I awoke from a vivid dream. I laid there for a few minutes and thought, "This would make a good story." After a few more minutes, I was wide awake. "No - this will make a great BOOK!!" I got up, went to the computer and wrote an outline with character profiles, major themes and sub-plots for the next hour. Finally, satisfied that I had written enough to make sure that these brilliant thoughts wouldn't be carried off by fairies in the night, I crawled back into bed. I smiled as I planned research that will include trips to a tattoo parlor, research on beauty school, emergency room protocols for stroke victims and getting to know the characters who introduced themselves to me in the wee hours last night. I can't wait to get to work on this project that will be a little less like the "work" of writing and a whole lot more fun!

Maybe it's true, maybe I AM a real writer . . .

In the trenches . . .

Sorry for my absence. I miss "chatting" with you all through blogs and comments. I'm deep in the writing project and it's going well but the deadline was moved up so we're in turbo mode to get it done on time. I hope you enjoy this cutie-pie picture of my puppy taking time to smell the tulips. Me - my tulip-smelling days will come after March 20th. None too soon for me!

As part of my research today I found this great website where you can look up quotes from famous people. Here are a few of my favorite ones that I found today.

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."
C. S. Lewis

Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.
C. S. Lewis

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.
Garrison Keillor

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
Charles M. Schulz