Monday, January 29, 2007

Learning to face the darkness . . .

Thanks to all of you for your kind comments on my last entry. The skies were beautifully clear and sunny this weekend but my days were filled with storms of emotions. Sadly, our beloved neighbor took a turn for the worse on Friday and wasn't able to come home as planned. Thursday and Friday were filled with emotion as we helped her husband process the possibility that she might not come home from the hospital as planned.

Saturday morning he arrived on my doorstep at 8:30 am with the news that the doctors did not think she would survive the day. Brad was at a meeting and my little guy had basketball pictures but we managed to make it to the hospital by about 11:00 am. We were able to see her and give a hug and kiss and tell her we loved her. She was still lucid and really looked lovely and much like her old self except for her labored breathing. She was tired so we only stayed a few minutes. It was heartbreaking to think this was probably the last time I would see her.

I had to rush home and finish prepping food for a baby shower I was helping to throw for my niece in Salem that night. So a few hours after saying goodbye to my good friend, I had to wipe my tears and put on a happy face and be the gracious hostess. It was a long afternoon - we left our house for the shower at 2:00 pm and didn't get home until 10:00 pm that night. At 9:39 pm my cell phone rang and it was my dear friend's husband. She had just passed from this life in a peaceful sleep.

As I mentioned before, this place, this thing, death - is a frightening and unfamiliar place in my life. I'm still processing this heaviness that hangs over me and this renewed sense of knowing that our time here is fleeting and never guaranteed. Sorry to sound like a downer - it's just hard to be real cheery tonight when I think of the heartbroken man sleeping alone two doors down.

I promise, clear skies in the forecast. The sun will come again and the posts will lighten up. Until then, hug your loved ones tight, live, love and laugh.

7 comments:

briliantdonkey said...

No reason to apologize for sounding like a downer. I am sorry to hear about the passing of your friend though that sounds so lame and generic when I read it. I have never been big on poetry, but one of the few poems I really DO love is the following. Feel free to share it with her husband. I hope it helps you as well in some small way till time can work it's magic. Anyways, here it is:

A PARABLE OF IMMORTALITY

BY: Henry Van Dyke

"I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength, and I stand and watch until at last she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says, 'There she goes!'

Gone where? Gone from my sight... that is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of destination. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says, 'There she goes!' there are other eyes watching her coming and their voices ready to take up the glad shouts 'Here she comes!'"


My prayers are with you and her family.

BD

Kim G. said...

Thanks BD for your kind words and prayers. I love the poem and will be writing it down in my journal. It's so funny, My friend Michelle at Full Soul Ahead lost one of her neighbor ladies last week and wrote the same poem on her blog.

Jerri said...

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, Kim. Facing darkness is a difficult task. I hope it helps that you're not alone, that others (like me) care about you and your journey.

Tammy Brierly said...

Kim, I so glad they have you guys and she can go in peace knowing he will not be alone in his grief. Big Hugs to you all with prayers of peace.

Deirdre said...

I'm so sorry for this loss. There's not a thing I can say that will help this process or help you know what to do for your neighbor. I'm glad you got to spend a little time with your friend on her last day.

Jenny said...

Wow, what extremem emotions without hours of each other - life and death.

Thinking about you through this difficult time,

XO,
Jenny

Writer Bug said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like you were a really good friend to her, and I hope that offers you some comfort.