After posting my Sunday Scribbling yesterday came the trickle of regrets.
It was too long.
I didn't link to Sunday Scribblings (sorry Laini and Megg).
It was too preachy, too goody-goody, too foofy. It didn't really express the grit and sweat and passion that I would have wanted for an allegory about my personal faith.
It was a bit presumptious and egotistical to write it and post it. Too much like many other Christians that I don't appreciate when they try to sugar-coat what it takes to follow Christ.
I'm reading "The Artist's Way" right now and have just gotten to the part where she begins to talk about our inner Censor. No introductions were needed as my inner Censor jumped to attention as I was reading that part and squealed with delight at being recognized as part of the creative process. She didn't quite get that she's the NEGATIVE part of the creative process. The truth is, my Sunday Scribbling post this week was far more a product of my Censor than of me. I had to disguise my story in fairytale ballgowns to make it acceptable for the audience. Somehow, I don't think this is really what my creative self wants to write. The story is there, but it's like it's playing dress-up in someone elses clothing.
Well, we (me and my censor) have some things to work on, that's for sure. Thanks for reading these ramblings and sticking with me.
On a lighter note, my good friend flew into town a few hours ago from Muscatine, Iowa for a four week visit (she's staying with her mom). We have lots of fun things in mind for the weeks ahead, one of which is a trip to Oregon's famous Shakespeare Festival in Ashland next week to see a play and have a night out on the town. I can't wait! There's some birthdays this weekend (mine, my daughter's and my mother-in-law's) so I'm sure there will be some good eats and fun to come with that. And it is FINALLY supposed to cool off a bit this week. We pansy Oregonians just aren't used to living in desert conditions!
6 comments:
After reading you comment on your Sunday Sribblings...I didn't read it. But, instead read this one. I found you very honest in this passage. Finding you voice, is not easy...I lie to my self or "write it pretty" alot....when I am unsure of or frightened by what I may say. But I find you brave..for trying to be braver....
I liked your allegory. I thought it was well written, and not preachy at all. Whatever! It's your blog, babe. Write what you want. And it's your faith, babe. Express it how you want.
:)
Kim, I have a massive inner censor too and am often beseiged with doubts as to how a post will be received and if I've written what I really wanted to write, etc etc. It's hard to get rid of that censor altogether, but I found your post very lovely, and I am a non-Christian who is inspired by the way your faith is an undercurrent in your writing without being over-the-top (though that would be okay too, if it was). I appreciate that this huge aspect of you is trying to find its proper voice in your writing -- I'm sure you will find the way that feels right and natural to you, and in the meantime, don't apologize for the journey! That was a really fun piece of writing! Also, have a great time in Ashland! What are you going to see? Have you been to Jacksonville? Jim and I took a little side trip over there on our trip to Ashland and thought it was a delightful little town, in a completely different way that Ashland. Have fun!
Kim,
I just read it and thought it was truly beautiful. Tell that inner judge to buzz off. You have much to say and a gift for saying it.
Oh, you lucky! You get to go to Ashland! When I was in high school, I was in out GATE program, and I chose to study art and literature, so I got to go see about five plays there a year, my last two years. It was incredible!!Really amazing work. I hope you love it, and I know you will!
:)
Excellent, love it! » »
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