Sunday, April 23, 2006

The Experiment

Here's my Sunday Scribble. Thank to all who stop by!

April 17
Dear Diary – Great news. Today I was in line at the Sip ‘n Save buying a Diet Coke, bread and deodorant and I saw the most amazing thing. Right there, next to the checkout counter was the answer to all my problems. It was there like a burning bush, an answer to my prayers. In big, bold print on the cover of one of those women’s magazines: “She lost 19 pounds Eating Chocolate”. Well, I can’t begin to tell you how my heart started to flutter and my palms started to sweat. You know dear diary, how I have been working so hard to get ready for that reunion next month. I have been sweating it out on the treadmill at least three times a week and I’m drinking so much water that I can’t seem to go two hours without needing to pee. I’ve passed on the clearance Valentine’s boxes and Easter candy when they were calling my name - even the giant chocolate crosses marked at 75% off. I have missed my friend, my companion, my chocolate - and now – glory be! I can put out the welcome mat for my old friend! I slipped a copy of the magazine onto the conveyor belt and for the sake of preparedness, grabbed 4 York Peppermint Patties as well.

April 30
Dear Diary – Well, after reading the article, I am convinced that I’ve been going about this diet all wrong. Did you know there is actual evidence that chocolate can help you loose weight? There is even a special product called Chocla Slim with chocolate and artichoke powder of all things in it that is supposed to help you loose up to 5 pounds a month. Well, I looked at these little plain squares of chocolate and decided they looked a bit on the boring side. If I’m going to eat chocolate, I’m going to eat CHOCOLATE.

May 1
Dear Diary – Went to a website today called “Chocolate.com”. I never knew there were so many different kinds of chocolate. Can’t believe it but I ordered a $7 candy bar. Here’s the description: Signature D Zebra Bar - Silky smooth coconut cream center with whole Tahitian vanilla beans and a touch of coconut rum. Surrounded by and earthy tasting white chocolate. Can’t wait to try it. Until then, I bought a monster bag of M & M’s to tide me over until it arrives.

May 12
Dear Diary – Well the zebra chocolate bar was nice, but not sure it was worth $7. However, with the candy bar came a beautiful catalogue of their other products. I’m going to order the Signature Sin Collection of truffles from Romanicos Chocolate. This diet is going great! I was a little tired today from staying up late marking the catalogue, so I missed my morning date with the treadmill, but I’m sure I’ll be able to get back on track tomorrow.

May 16
Dear Diary - OK – this chocolate diet is great! I’m waiting to weigh myself to see the results but I’ll tell you, I’ve noticed lots of positive changes. Before, when I used to feel tired and cranky in the afternoons, I’d have to reach for carrots or broccoli to tide me over until dinner, but now that I’m on the chocolate diet – I’ve been reaching for one of my Signature Sin Collection truffles. My favorite are the Fresh Mint – they remind me of my favorite Girl Scout Cookies but classier. They just make me so happy!

May 18
Dear Diary - Stayed home from work today with a touch of the stomach flu. Feeling too crummy to eat, but to keep myself motivated, watched “Chocolat” and my kids copy of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. Funny – didn’t really make be feel any better. Placed another order with Chocolate.com and decided to try a box of “painted assorted chocolates filled with almonds, hazelnut, pistachio and dulcede leche”. (Don’t know what that last thing was but I’m looking forward to trying it out.)

May 24
Dear Diary – The painted chocolate was wonderful. So beautiful it was hard to eat. Got my credit card statement with the chocolate orders and realized that I might have to go back to the check-out displays at the Sip ’n Save for my diet fixes. This gourmet chocolate is putting a serious dent in my budget.

May 31
Dear Diary – Tomorrow is weigh-in day. The reunion is one month from tomorrow and I can’t wait to see how much I’ve lost. It will be great to go shopping for some new clothes! Yesterday I saw the cutest dress the window of this little boutique on Orenco St. It was a flowy number with plumy plums and browns the color of a double tall mocha. I found a great pair of strappy sandals to go with it but I want to wait and see if I’ll be ready to buy the next size down. Maybe I’ll even be able to go down two sizes! Maybe at the reunion, everyone will ask how I look so great and I’ll be able to answer like all the skinny people, “It must just be good genes! Me – I eat chocolate all the time!”

June 2
Dear Diary – Couldn’t write yesterday because I was so upset! I gained 8 pounds on this stupid diet!! What did I do wrong? I guess you can’t believe everything that you read . . .

10 comments:

paris parfait said...

What a great take on this topic! Really clever.

GreenishLady said...

You just gave me a much-needed laugh! I've seen that magazine cover, but thankfully, didn't fall for the claim!

Left-handed Trees... said...

Ha! This was a wonderful "experiment" with the writing and the topic. I appreciated your humor this morning...

Jennifer said...

Totally fun read. Thanks!

Amber said...

What?! It didn't work?! You should try the cupcake diet I'm doing. Much better.;)

hehehe. Cute!

:)

In Otter Space said...

Your writing is fun and so honest. The chocolate diet sounds like something any one of us would love to try and like your character, wishful that it works.
Thanks for the smiles :)

In Otter Space said...

Your writing is fun and so honest. The chocolate diet sounds like something any one of us would love to try and like your character, wishful that it works.
Thanks for the smiles :)

Deb R said...

What a great take on the theme! Hilarious!

Laini said...

Ah, it was too good to be true! If such a diet ever comes to be, I'll be on it.

AnnieElf said...

omigosh, I saw this coming but laughed all the way. Lord, how we love to fool ourselves. Thanks for a great read. Annie