Bingo Balls in Space

OK - so I'm sitting down to the computer on a Tuesday afternoon, and I really want to write something brilliant and reflective, something that will inspire, move and motivate anyone who might stumble uppon my little corner of the kingdom of Bloggerdom - but sadly, I don't think it's going to happen today.

My brain feels like one of those old-fashioned bingo-ball mixers. You know the ones you see in old TV shows and movies. (I don't know - maybe they still use them at today's bingo parlours?) The balls all have different ideas, thought, stories, reflections on them. Some are pictures of the ones I love, some have pictures of the ones in my life that are harder to love. Some of the balls are covered with criticisms, some are covered with encouragements. Some are the bad habits that I don't want to pick up again by accident, some are the steps I need to take to move forward in my life. The problem is, they are all bouncing around so much, I can't seem to get a grasp on any of them enough to write something cohesive, intellegent or even rational.

Here's a short list of the ones I can tell keep popping up with more regularity - they seem to be silently calling, "Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!" But like the perfect, golden peach, they just don't seem ready yet to go too deep on.

- Today in my small group we talked about having a hurried heart rather than a hurried schedule. The question we left with was, "How many blessings are we missing out on because we refuse to practice the discipline of solitude? What can we do to change that?"

- Watched the new version of the 10 Commandmants last night and will watch the conclusion tonight. Our family is a big fan of the original Charleton Heston one but there were elements of the new one that I loved. I loved that the new Moses was kind of pissy and really seemed to struggle with his faith in what God called him to do. That seemed much more real than the stoic Charleton Heston Moses.

- I feel like I'm falling short on some specific areas of parenting my kids. There are no quick fixes, no easy answers, and it's hard to know how to encourage my kids to make some changes in their lives to develop healthier lives. I want them to want to change their behavior because it is the right thing to do, not just because I say so.

- I need to register for a class that I want to take next month, but I find myself dragging my feet on it. I can't explain why - even to myself. It's something I really do want to do and I love school. It's only a week long class, but it will be a major disruption to the family schedule. I think I'm struggling with that totally irrational, undeserved mommy-guilt crap. I think I just need to suck it up and ask for the help I need and just do it.

- Before you feel too sorry for me (or annoyed at my whining!) I had a great break on Saturday while my husband was at work and my parents took the kids. To recharge the batteries I went for my favorite fix - a couple of hours at Powell's city of Books! Brought home a book for my daughter (the reading machine!) and two gardening books to get me on the stick: "Tea Gardens" and "Gardening with Herbs". I felt pretty good about only spending about $22 that day as I found about 10 other books to add to my wish list!

BINGO - That's five! Now, what to do with the other couple hundred still jumping around in my head . . . I guess there's always tomorrow's post!

Blessings! Kim