Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Writing - an argument for human cloning


The closer I get to feeling like maybe I am actually a "writer" (still without the capital "W" - baby steps now people, baby steps . . .), the more I think I might be interested in volunteering for a human cloning project.

There simply isn't enough time in the day (or night) to get everything done and write like I really want to write. And so, I think I'd like to place my order for a few more Kim's to take care of some of life's other tasks so I could be free to spend my days at libraries and coffee shops writing the articles, novels and blog posts that are blooming in my brain like rampant, genetically mutated dandelions that no amount of procrastinating will destroy.

So here's my cloning shopping list:

Cooking Kim: This gal would have the job of shopping, researching healthy recipes, finding ways to trim the bad stuff out of our family's diet and still making sure our sweet teeth are good and happy. She would shop, cook and watch cooking shows and throw the occasional classy dinner party as well as taking care of all holiday food preparations year round.

Merry-Maid Kim: This lucky chick would get clean-up duty including washing sweaty soccer uniforms, Brad's paint covered work clothes and the dreaded bathroom cleaning chore. She would also get kitchen clean-up and all those purging projects around the house. Like getting rid of 10-year old magazines that somehow can't find their way to the recycle bin.

Working Woman Kim: She would bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan (na-naaa-na-na). This lucky lady would get to work with wonderful people and work on interesting projects with undivided focus and concentration, wowing everyone with her knowledge, experience and creativity. She would do all of this without the distractions of thinking, "Wow - I'd really rather be writing a scene for my novel rather than this annual report" or fight the urge to spice up her marcom writing with vocabulary and descriptions that have no place in a conservative work place.

Media-savy Kim: She would keep up on all of my favorite shows, alerting me to the "can't miss" episodes but letting me skip the less than stellar ones. She'd preview movies for me so I could never waste time sitting through something that wouldn't inspire or motivate me in my own creative journey. She'd help me never sit through another bomb of a movie like "Premonition" (two hours of my life that I'd REALLY like back Lord, thanks!). M.S. Kim would do the same for me with books and magazines also, weeding out the duds and fluff and flagging articles that would help me develop story ideas. Oh, and when I eventually get around to buying an i-pod, she'd figure it out for me and load all my favorite music on it.

Yup. Human cloning - I think it's just the ticket for my writing career. Where can I sign up?

7 comments:

Wanda said...

You are an amazing woman. Everyone of your clones are great! I would like to sign up too!

Jennifer said...

I'm in too...I'd like to add one-taxi-driver Kim/Jennifer.

Seriously...what was I thinking when I so cleverly signed my oldest up for afternoon Kindergarten, while I knew my youngest would be in morning preschool. Phew!

Amber said...

What a good idea! Can I do that?
And can I add a Working Out Amber? The one who keeps our butt nice and trim, without th erest of the Amber's having to sweat? That would be great. Thanks.

:)

Jenny said...

Wouldn't it just rock to have a cook? I with ya on that one...

Cheryl said...

Yeah--I'm with you. Clone away. I think I would have a cook, house keeper, worker bee, and (I like Jennifer's suggestion) a driver! Oh, how about grocery-shopper too!

Becca said...

What a great post! When you find out where the sign up center is, please pass it on!

Deirdre said...

And all this time I've been saying I need a wife when what's really been missing is a clone or two. Or five.