Five years ago . . .

Five years ago, I was getting N. off to second grade and getting J. ready for his first day of pre-school. It was a morning of conflicting emotions. Saddness, joy; loss, pride; peace and fear. I remember asking myself, "Living on the other side of the country from where most of the devastation had occurred, how scared should I really be?" As the tragedy unfolded on the 24-hour news coverage, I realized the risk to me and my family was slight, but it was soon clear, things would forever change.

Things I remember from that day:
- N. walking into the kitchen just as I watched the first tower fall to the ground on our little 13 inch t.v. She asked, "Mommy, what happened to that building." Choking back tears, I explained, "There was a bad accident and it broke the building and it fell down." "Were there people still inside there?" she asked. I had to look away from her 8-year old face as the tears wouldn't stay back any longer. "I hope not," came out of my mouth. "I hope not," came out of my heart.

- We live near a fairly busy community airport. There are always helicopters and small planes flying in the area. After living here 14 years, I almost tune them out, but on September 11, 2001, the skies were eerily silent in our little suburb.

- Hearing the announcement that they closed our nearest shopping mall. In a rare moment of silliness that day, I remember thinking, "Things must be really bad if the mall is closing."

- The flags. The rush of patriotism in the days following. I wore my flag pin today that it took me weeks to find after 9/11. Buying N's soccer team red, white and blue ribbons for their hair for the game that week. Trying to buy an American flag for our house, not knowing why it was all of the sudden so important, but it just was.

- Taking J. to pre-school that day and huddling with some of the other moms in the corner trying to keep the joy of the special day but feeling the heaviness of knowing, however cliche it might have sounded or felt, the world had just changed and our children would live a different life than we ever did.

- Trying to reach my parents by phone in England to make sure they were OK and just to hear their voices.

- In the days following the tragedy, I forced myself to read the obituaries printed in the paper. I finally had to stop as the grief would just press on me like a dark, heavy blanket that I couldn't drop. I kept praying for the families, but for my sanity's sake, I just couldn't read about another family who had lost someone they loved so much.

I received this today from a weekly email service I subscribe to and I thought it might be a fitting way to mark the day. No matter how you express your personal faith, I hope this is one lesson we could all take hold of from that very sad day five years ago.

THE MONDAY MEMO

LET THEM KNOW

In the movie "Love Actually" Hugh Grant's character says in the introduction, "When the planes hit the twin towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge. They were all messages of love."

There's something about tragedy that gives us insight to what really matters. Today we'll be reminded of the terrible events that took place five years ago. We'll hear the stories and see the pictures and relive some of the heartbreak. Hopefully, we'll also capture fresh perspective on what we value most, as individuals and as a society.

Most of us have no trouble expressing our political opinions. Those around us know where we stand on the war, what we think of the President, and who we blame for each turn of events. But do our loved ones know how we feel about them? There are things in life more precious than politics -- even more precious than life itself. These are things over which you have greater influence. You can't, by yourself, change what governments do. But there are some big things you can do single-handedly: You can make sure the special persons in your life know who they are and what they mean to you.

Take some time today to send a message of love. If you don't know how to say it, maybe you can begin with Paul's words to his friends in Philippi, "I thank God every time I think of you." (Philippians 1:3)

--Steve May